A friend of mine was sexually assaulted out to dinner with a professor. When she told her story to her adviser, a dear friend of ours, she told him she wore a turtleneck and long pants and described her outfit. He cut her off and told her, “I don’t care if you were wearing a fucking bikini—nobody has the right to touch you.”
I think that was the first time in the whole process of talking to cops and administrators about what happened where someone actually told her it wasn’t her fault.
They make it about the clothes, the situation—“Why did you agree to dinner? Why didn’t you take your own car? Did you lead him on? For once, someone made it about her and her rights. I think this helped her most of all in the process. Everyone needs to respond like this to survivors, in my opinion.
I’m so sorry about your friend, OP. Props to her advisor (and you!) for being supportive and understanding what rape culture means—and saying “fuck this shit, NOBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO TOUCH YOU.”
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